Once upon a time, in a place not so far away, I had real jeans.
They came stiff, new-looking, waiting to be worn in. You actually could wear them to work on dress-down days and still feel dressy enough.
And I was happy.
Who knew I’d long so for those days – the days when friends would have to lie in bed to pry up their zippers. Those pants didn’t give, but they sure did hold bellies at bay.
Me? I was always too ashamed of my thunder thighs to ever go quite that tight. But still …
Those button-fly Levi’s 501s were my favorite. They fit just right.
What ever happened to real women’s jeans?
My boys can still get real denim – the true blues. Not the ones that are stone washed or, worse yet, have pre-made holes. (They quickly make those themselves, sliding into first base. That’s the way it should be.)
I want that type of jeans. They make them for kids. Why not for moms?
Somewhere along the line, corporations have decided that we like our tea always sweet and our jeans laced with Lycra. Why?
Do they think it is comfier?
It is not.
The new-fangled, faux-denim creations feel fine when you first put them on, but, an hour later, they’re hanging – their pockets cutting mid-butt. Nobody looks good with pockets that low.
A belt is now a necessity, unless you really want to show off the top of your underwear or, worse, your butt crack.
Forget wearing these things to work. No dress-down day is ever dress-down enough. Heck, half of them come pre-holed.
Just get me a good pair of denims, and, I swear, I’ll wear ‘em enough that I can make my own holes. Thank you very much.
Oh, what I’d give to go back in time and grab several pair.
Forget the mall. Guess it’s time to shop Ebay.
Levi? You listening?