So what do I do but spin yet one more tonight.
I’m at this point again with major deadlines overlapping, too few staff, too many stories, too much editing and too much detail juggling. I got an amazing amount done, but I still have an amazing amount left.
I might as well admit it here and now, I am not going to get everything I need to done. It is physically impossible.
So now the trick is to find a way to create some breathing space in these cramped quarters – to eke out that taking-care-of-me space – and to not simply freak at what’s on my plate.
I don’t know how to do that, except through meditation.
So tonight, I tried it again for the first time in months.
Well, that’s not entirely true.
Yeah, I’ve used my meditation tapes to help me fall asleep a couple of insomniac nights. Don’t tell my instructor. I’m pretty sure that’s meditation abuse.
Anyway, tonight, I decided to meditate the way you are supposed to – awake.
I loaded up the Do As One website and went into the Universal Meditation Room where you can mediate with people around the world, and I breathed to the sound of chimes. It’s a little hokey and certainly not as good as working with a teacher, but it helped.
Funny thing though, I noticed that my thoughts have tangled into a tight knot at the crown of my head.
It’s like an over-used muscle that won’t relax, just above my left eye, and I know that that tightness is made up of thoughts that just keep winding and twisting and won’t stop moving.
My first impulse was to resist them, but that makes it worse. So I tried to accept and breathe and listen to those chimes.
That helped, and I feel a little better – a little more centered, but I’ve got a long ways to go, and, you know what? That’s OK.
I’ve decided that’s what its about, finding those roads that are healthy so that next time, when you really, really need them, they are pre-programmed into that GPS in your head.
Here’s to that search. And here’s to me finding time for my workout.